My birth story - Part 1
Hello and welcome to my birth story. I don’t think it’s your typical story! A little background:
This is my second baby, here is my first 💕
I was diagnosed super early with Gestational Diabetes. I still feel a bit ripped off - they changed the thresholds between baby 1 and baby 2. So had the thresholds not changed I probably wouldn’t “have it.” It was my fasting reading that was troublesome, but I was able to stay off insulin and control it with metformin. (The tablet)
I was induced for my first baby because of hypertension. My hunch is anxiety had a big part to play in it because I didn’t have it second time around. Totally #SecondTimeMumWisdom I say. Still had anxiety but no where near as bad.
I wanted to avoid induction this time around, and really wanted a natural labour. We enrolled in the Hypobirthing Australia course with @the.birth.collective, and it was best thing ever! The name sounds fluffy, I know. But it is not. More to come later.
The hypnobirthing course is an antenatal course, so it replaces the course you do at the hospital. And it’s better IMO. It all evidence based and gives you the tools to question everything so you understand. Knowledge is power after all. It gave me the knowledge to stand up for myself and push for the natural birth I wanted.
Early labour
I had a super lonnng early labour. Like I mean weeks. I remember telling @the.birth.collective I was feeling cramps 3 weeks before the actual birth! Crazy! Apparently it’s called Prodromal labor. Basically it’s when you feel surges (ahem, we don’t say contractions - one thing I learnt from Hypnobirthing is that language, and mindset, is a huge part of a successful natural and pain relief free labour) weeks before and it makes you think, oh crap I could go any minute now and my hospital bag isn’t packed. It doesn’t feel like Braxton hicks (I feel like I can distinguish the difference now- BH feels like your stomach muscles are tightening from doing too many sit-ups, but surges feel like period pain that eventually grow to x 100) anyway the surges didn’t end up evening out so I just put it down to something my body needed to do to get ready for the birth. Didn’t stop me hoping though, because I really wanted to have a natural labour and not get induced this time. I was disappointed every time I noticed a cramp but it didn’t come back a few minutes later.
The cramps eventually got stronger but they were still really random. Sometimes I noticed them hourly, sometimes nothing. Anyway, I got to my 39 week appointment with my OB. I wanted to have an internal exam, because I knew all these cramps wouldn’t be for nothing. Though, I learnt from the hypnobirthing course that an internal exam is a medical intervention, even though some don’t consider it to be. As much as I wanted a natural, intervention-less birth, I was okay with an internal. Glad I did because I was 3cm dilated! Sign 1.
The OB suggested that I have a membrane sweep (or a stretch and sweep) which basically means they stick their fingers up there and manually separate the membranes of the amniotic sac from your cervix. It was bloody painful when I had it first time around. It probably wouldn’t have been this time because everything is pre-stretched (lol) but again, I wanted a natural as possible labour. Don’t let anyone tell you that a stretch and sweep is not a medical intervention - it very much is. Watch this video for a visual. There is a risk of infection, a small chance they could accidentally break your waters, also you’ll feel discomfort/ pain afterwards and it actually might delay labour. Oh, and it only has a 1 in 8 chance success rate. So yeah, wasn’t enough for me.
Again, the OB kept suggesting (strongly) to have it. I don’t think she understood why I was so hesitant and I was getting quite stressed because of it. I’m naturally an overthinker and she probably picked up on it, and tried to convince me that it wasn’t a “big deal” and in the grand scheme of things it really doesn’t matter. I obviously didn’t agree so kept going back and forth. Anyway, she was already up there with the internal exam and after some back and forth she asked me a final time if we were “doing this”. In the moment I knew I didn’t want it, so I said no. At the time I was so scared I made the wrong decision but looking back, high 5 to me for sticking to my guns.
Anyway, in the same appointment, my OB was also suggesting (ahem, pushing) an induction. She kept arguing her case, saying after 40 weeks you’ll have more meconium, risk of still birth is higher and a whole lot of other scary things which made me book the date, even though I didn’t want to.
I wanted to wait until at least my due date to go in to labour naturally. I was prepared and knew that there was no “standard” or rule for induction with GDM. As long as sugars were controlled and baby was healthy, there is nothing stopping you from waiting until past your due date for natural labour. Some hospitals induce you at 38 weeks, some let you wait until 41. At my last appointment with my endocrinologist, she asked me what my birth plan was, and because I wanted a natural birth, I told her we’re waiting until my due date and going from there. She said - and I quote “I wouldn’t wait, the longer you wait the more something could go wrong”
WTF.
Anyway, I knew better so I didn’t let it scare me, because we covered this in the course. Unfortunately, some doctors use scary language to try and convince you to go one way or another. I knew it wasn’t her call anyway, it was between my OB and I.
Back to the 39 week appointment. My OB told me that the risk of stillbirth with GDM is higher so I needed to be induced ASAP. I hadn’t even got to my due date yet. This is another example of doctors using scary language. Again, we covered this in the course, so I knew to dig deeper. I asked her for the numbers. She told me that it was 1 in 350. In the appointment 1 in 350 sounded pretty scary - but afterwards I googled. It isn’t - 1 in 350 equates to 0.2% - less than a percentage! You have a better chance of winning OzLotto at 1 in 55! Legit no joke.
Anyway, I engaged in a healthy argument with her, and even though I was already dilated, she still pushed for induction. I don’t think it was because it was a public holiday weekend or any other sinister motive (Some doctors actually say, “I’m going on holiday so this baby needs to come now….”) She also said that some people walk around for weeks at 3cm for weeks 🧐 which was another reason for induction. I don’t think she was used to patients questioning her, and I think she got annoyed at me for not “listening” - but you know what - it’s my body and I have every right to know. In the end, I used the BRAIN technique and we delayed my induction to the following week. I would be 40 + 3. This was my way of listening, but still holding my ground. I wish I was confident enough to say no induction at all and I stick to my guns, but I wasn’t. I was actually quite anxious, upset and worried because the OB is the expert after all. But Tina reminded me, she’s the medical expert yes, but not the expert on my body. I had to have a little faith.
Now, if you’ve seen the @birthtimeworld movie, you’ll know this “scary language” is typical. It’s sad that it’s the norm for mums to be pushed in to induction or a ceaser because of whatever reason: in my case GDM, but sometimes because it’s because the OB is going on holidays (I know, ridic) or simply because they want to control when baby enters the world for scheduling reasons. This pisses me off.
Anyway, after that appointment, which was a Wednesday, on Thursday I found myself becoming really fixated on “getting things done”. Sign number 2: nesting. To be fair I had been nesting this whole pregnancy, but for some reason I was obsessed with making this clary sage blend, maybe because I knew induction date was looming so I needed to have some sort of control over it. I wanted to go in to natural labour so bad that I needed something to concentrate on. So I was obsessed with finding one of those essential oil roller balls. After much googling and messaging oil friends I was disappointed I couldn’t acquire one. I had a brainwave to search Facebook marketplace and found a lovely local lady who was willing to sell me the empties. Pretty proud of myself, I wrestled with my toddler to get in the car (which he won, and delayed us an hour) but I got there. I was on a mission. Then went to wollies for a few supplies and made my oil blend.
Oh btw, did I mention the cramps were getting stronger? They were hourly but I learnt from getting my hopes up last time so I tried not to pay much attention.
Anxiety was also really ramping up. I was worried about induction, worried I had “defied” my OB and something would go wrong with the birth. I’ve been better at getting to know the signs so I knew I needed help. I scheduled a last minute, emergency appointment with my counsellor that arvo. She was able to fit me in via phone. I knew I wouldn’t be able to let it go without a session. I told her about everything my OB had said and I was worried I made the wrong decision in not opting for the early induction. She helped me process and we landed on a new plan. She reminded me that I wanted a natural labour and to advocate for myself. The new plan was that if I didn’t go in to labour before my due date, I would ask to have the stretch and sweep after the weekend, in a last attempt to avoid induction. I was happy with this. A stretch and sweep would better than an induction. Still invasive, but better. She also helped me realise that my OB would never put me or my baby in any danger, so the fact that she was willing to let me go longer spoke volumes. Louder than the words she was actually saying.
Post counselling I felt better. We had a plan, I had lost confidence for a second, but I reminded myself my body was preparing- 3cms without me doing anything! I felt a little unsupported by my OB but I was confident in my decision.
In another attempt to bring on labour, and to keep my mind off things, we went for burgers that night and planned to walk around our local shopping centre. All was well, cramps were coming and going. I breathed through them and just let them be. Burgers came, we ate. Hubby was trying to entertain our very active toddler and took him on a walk to the other side of the centre. My step son and I finished our burgers and we set off to join him. Half way through walking, I had to stop. Was this a surge? It didn’t feel like it but it was enough to make me stop what I was doing. Got there and husband asked if I was okay, I shook my head. He sprung in to action and went to get the car. We got in the car and a few more surges came through, a little more intense but nothing I couldn’t handle. I just breathed as normal. I was actually chatting to another expectant mum via FB (Hi Rosemaree!) and was telling her that things are happening but I couldn’t be sure it was anything. Turns out it was, haha.
Got home and hubby started the bath. He had candles going, my affirmations playing and I was thinking okay, maybe this is it. I put on a TV show.
But then after an hour, it fizzled out. Disappointed again. But I knew better then to get hopes up so I let it be and went to bed at 9.30pm.
Keep reading here.